the abyss has been deep and dark. that hollow that had known self-confidence and which was the foundation of that cheerful façade and positive outlook, imploded. i need to stand up.

well God has been good, dropping little things in my life tt made me use those neglected lil face muscles of mine and smile. heard wind of THE most wonderful hedonistic birthday present ever, it's jaw-dropping amazing tt such things happen outside of the black box. and i finally saw, without the blurry end-of-day contacts or raw myopic eyes, the stuff tt makes you chuckle to yourself, the stuff tt everyone pretends not to have happened and will always be left unspoken. heehee.

and a song tt my ears have finally opened up and realised, oh boy wat a song.

Jamie Lewis and DJ Pippi - So Sexy
I'm here tonight to praise the beauty of that elusive creature called..
man.
and i don't mean his brains or even his brawn, no no no no.
i wanna go further down, down,
past his pulsing heart,
down, to the valley of his lust.
let me paint you a picture,
let me take you to that wonderland
that lies between heaven and hell, yin and yang, great and small.

You wanna come, you hold the key
you're so sexy, sexy, sexy
so so sexy, sexy, sexy

At the centre of every man is a treasure chest, a pleasure
waiting to be unlocked, released, set free.
and you, you hold the key.
a look, a smile, a touch, a kiss
and he's yours.
So remember, don't be afraid,
don't even be jealous,
just enjoy.

I'm released, set free.
You wanna come, you hold the key
you're so sexy, sexy, sexy
so so sexy, sexy, sexy.

Enjoy the rainbow of his many colours,
the valley that leads to his mountain,
the river that shrouds to your sea,
the volcano that erupts with his passion....

and it continues.
haha wat a song!