i'm just a fraction of wat i was before..a long time ago.

innocence is a virtue. being without emotional baggage is to be cherished. oh man i sound like an old hag regretting the milk lost.
cynicism eats away joy. spending time with Him is not a pie in the sky..it helps in self reflection. self reflection tt doesn't produce negative thots, tt doesn't go the same big round. it calms down the soul and on a higher level, brings light to life. i'm assuming (cos a long time ago i was satisfied with wat it brought me) tt i would slowly know where life is bringing me to. i now think tt it's pointless gg for prayer mtgs cos why you praying for other issues when you're messed up yourself. or praying for youself for tt matter, cos He doesn't grant them anyway.
right now, my advice to pple is always "why bother, just let things naturally play out" or "you've done alot already, don't need to do anything else". does it result in a calming effect or does it show tt i think there is nth else worth fighting for? i justify my stand as hitting one's head against a wall, so stop doing anything as early as possible.
at work, i take so long to figure things out tt pple are always trying to give me solutions, and these just make me more lost. i end up following blindly watever they do. how does a chemeng degree help in figuring out (a)why the siren can't stop, (b)why the handswitches can't activate the valve when they've already been hotlooped, (c)why the local reading and the computer display says different things.
i've so much more time these days so i'm able to ponder a lot more. but yet my pondering doesn't yield any solutions. it's pathetic.